Death

Death.

I never thought much about it...

About how permanent,

and unsettling it can be.

I never thought much about death...

Until it happened, so abruptly.

My close one died,

Leaving me shattered,

bereaved.

My heart lives at their grave.

My mind, out of peace. 

Seamless waves of grief hit,

relentlessly.

I never paid heed to death. 

Until it plucked out my soul... 

And laid it out to bleed.

Yet, I breathe...

Why did it pick mine? 

When there were many others to seize! 

When will I see them next?

What happens once they are 'deceased'? 

When my time comes,

and I am put to rest

Will they come to greet?

Will we meet again in a world

Where death can never be?

Take me with you mother

 You were...

My purpose.

My reason.

My strength.

My anchor.

My comfort.

My friend.

My lover.

My doctor. 

My parent!

When you died 

you took away so much,

at once...

Me too

you could have taken

where you went. 

I miss you, Sowmi. 

A year on

Last year, this time

My mother was alive

Last year, this night

I was not an orphaned child.

It's a year on the morrow...

Time hasn't flown

There has not been a day

Her demise, I haven't mourned.

Memories and thoughts

Are in a constant brawl... 

Some reminders, many regrets

Linger even as night falls.

Days were not enough

I will never be done

I cry as I reminisce

My mother,

...who'll never come.

- Geetha Raj

Teardrop

 A drop of tear remains

At the corner of my eye

When I wipe it away

Another one finds it's way. 

Unshed, it's there

Reminding me to cry

Of hearbreaks, bad days

Of things going astray

I've made friends with this constant

I've just let it be.

For when everything in life was fleeting

This tear drop chose to stay.

The Common Enemy

 No matter the country,

the language,

the region

No matter what party,

its leaders,

their faith,

No matter their age,

their colour,

their creed,

No matter the century

or even the judiciary...

Women remain

persecuted, mutilated, raped.

Women remain silenced,

confined, condemned.

The common enemy -

we, women remain.

Why

 They expect - you provide

You expect - they snide

What, in relationships, do humans find? 

Disappointments aside, it's heartbreaks, and unhealthy minds.

Hopping from one bond to the next

Hoping this one will pass the test

Only to realize, giving up would be best

Comply, oblige, your aspirations can rest.  

Misery is a great companion, I believe

In its offerings,  consistent, it has always been

It's doesn't fake promises

It doesn't take you high

It assures grief and delivers everytime!

Hug your sweet heart

Cry with all your might.

No one's coming to save you

So, build your shield, high... 

With time you'd turn stone 

And probably, even survive.

- Geetha Raj 

Loss

I miss you so much

Mother of mine

I just want you to hold me

And go back in time

I'm no longer the person

You had left behind 

With you, I lost more of myself

Than words can ever describe.

I'm sorry for what life gave you

I feel I'm the reason behind. 

The world has abruptly ended

Never gave me a chance to revive.

Days come and go

Sleepless nights pass by

I have stopped crying

The tears have also dried

To be as strong as you, I try

Your tiny frame, always defied 

There is no rhyme or reason

For me to even survive . 

What wouldn't I give in return 

To see your smile, fragile

Shouldn't have let the fires take you

Shouldn't have lit the funeral pyre. 

Everyone loves for a reason

But yours came with no ties

You hugged me when I was good 

Tad tighter when I didn't make you proud.

I can assure you, I'm no good now

I reach for you from the hallows

Pick me up while I'm still trying

For not much longer, I'll be survive.

Pain

What gives us a moment of courage

...also makes us live in eternal fear.

What causes mighty revolutions

...also keeps us from taking strain. 

What pushes us to explore

...also stops us from the door.

What helps form healthy bonds

...what breaks them badly too! 

What puts us through struggles, relentless

...promising an Utopia which never comes. 

What gives us a hope for the future

...also drives us into depression. 

 

What shows that with death it doesn't end

... but that with death, it only begins. 

A myriad of emotions - us humans

...yet isn't pain the only constant?

Stances

Mothers who leave their child behind-

"What a selfish whore"

Mothers who suffer in silence, dignified-

"But, did we ask you to?"

Mothers who fight back and claim their lives-

"Some patience you should have shown" 

Mothers who choose the path of death

"If only you had told"

Mothers can't live, can't leave, can't die-

Then, what should mothers do?

Julie

In memory of Julie, who will always live in our hearts <3

Who will, now, give me my hugs

When I'm back home, from work?

Who will play hide and seek?

You are nowhere to be seen.

Who will chase after me?

Who will jump on my saree? 

Who will growl in disapproval

If I don't give in, and let you be?

A tad tighter I should have hugged you, then –

the last time we met, when.

Should have shown you more of my cheeks 

For you to place your wet, sloppy kisses.

But, I thought you'd wait for me

At my doorstep you'd always be –

I'm sorry, I walked away!

Is that why you left me?

You simply bid a hasty goodbye

Didn’t give time or farewell songs. 

I can’t see, tears blur my eyes

How am I ought to carry on?

It’s my turn now, to anticipate 

At my doorstep, I’ll always wait

Jump down from those heavenly gates

My dear Julie, please come back for a day?  

Prepare

My chest is cramped

I can’t breathe

Is it the pandemic,

or mental fatigue?

 

The world is shut  

Our doors are closed

Another lock down

Our timelines are set.

 

Death everywhere,

A melancholy gloom.

The music has stopped

Except for dead tunes.

 

This is war

Like all things bad,

created by man,

for his own doom.

 

When everything fails,
Pray, they say –

But where are the Gods

The demigods too?

 

A few men stand

To save the rest.

Let’s get on our knees

Let’s relentlessly beg.

 

To keep us alive –

Like soldiers, they slay.

A matter of time

Until they fail.

 

Sing, write or dance

Try cope or cry

But bid your goodbyes

It will be here, for us.

 

Covid 19

We wake up each morning

To coffins or funeral pyres

Or cries for help in distress

From another one, yet to die.

I've stopped watching the idiot box 

Or even the news

Fleeting statuses I don't peek into - 

Everywhere, it's just gloom.

Blame games and spite, surround

Claims of having helped and having tried

The world is crumbling all around

Yet, it is filled with despise.

Glorious days ahead, we are told

The disease will stop its spread, that's bold!

But for now, mask on -

And while at, close your souls.

A Poem

Poems are

my only solace

They've been with me

Through and through.

People come.

People go.

Words once penned,

Always stay.

Throw my way

hugs or hurls

It'll find life

in my rhymes.

Mock all you want

hurt me, criticize

As long as I can write, 

I'll be fine. 

The Whore

After every splendid time,

You show me where I stand.

When moonlight comes I keep you warm

When daylight comes, you're gone.

I admit, it is my fallacy,

To think I'm more than fantasy. 

Beggars can't be choosers, I understand

Nor can whores, I know.

But, when I see you at my door

I see beyond carnal desires

I take you in, as my lover for life

Forgetting you're here for a night.

Though each time, you leave me broken

I tend to my bleeding wounds

Making sure, I heal in time

Before your next visit is due!

Dont Try

 Don't Try.

Ugly. 

Repulsive.

Undesirable.

Lovers run at your sight.

So don't try.

A bag of worries.

A can of worms.

Bare your soul -

That's all they see.

So don't try.

Walk this earth,

Until your time comes.

For to end it - 

You don't have it in you.

So don't try.

Cry

Cry.

One day

your tears

have to dry.

Maybe,

it might be

on the day,

you die.

So,

until then

just cry. 

But, cry.

Choices make me

Don't pursue me

Let me go

You made your choices

So, let me be.

There's no turning back

Not this time around

I'm choosing myself now

Though I'm bruised and sad.

All wounds don't bleed

And cannot be seen

We were badly broken

Yet each other, we tried to heal.

Let's us both be birds, free

Pursuing faraway heavens,

I pray you find yours

But from mine, please don't keep me. 

Incomplete

What are we but stories -

some told, some untold

and some lost in between

chapters, as they unfold.

 

What are we but memories -

some happy, some cold

Some lost in grey zones

in between them both.

 

From chapter to chapter

we move in hope

that the next one will be

different from the old.

 

We chance upon an empty page

To fill in, there's plenty of space

Only to realize, the ink is up

An unfinished work, we'll remain.

 

Cursed

To be loved

To be missed 

To be noticed

To be wished. 

To be craved

To be shielded

To be saved

To be heeded

To make you feel 

that you belong

And take note,

when you are gone

To walk beside you

Even when you cry

To walk behind you

When it's silence you crave

To hold you closer

Till you want to be held

To tighten the grip

And keep you from hell

To reflect, to mirror,

To calm, to appease

Don't we all deserve

Such love, and such peace?

Toxic Love

How many times 

Will you break my heart?

Bit by bit

You keep making me sad!

Here, some time 

Then gone for quite a while 

You were not with me, 

Who gave you these love bites? 

Once and for all

Let's bid our goodbyes.

Just take one day 

And do it, in a jiffy.

Let's call it off, 

Let's not look back!

Take your love elsewhere

I'm too broke, to even cry.