Swami Saranam

I wish I could be as excited as my 72 year old mother about the #Sabarimala verdict. She's been going to the temple for few years now. She is so happy that she can go with me now. 

I have been there when I was a child. I still remember the energy from the Sanctum Sanctorum and the possibility to see beautiful Lord Ayappa again, is like a long time dream come true.

I'd been vehemently opposing the entry of women into the temple stating there is a reason why we have certain traditions and rituals and should abide by them. And have also proudly stated that I'll wait across multiple arguments, both online and offline. 

My timeline currently is filled with my relatives' rants on how they will die to withhold the sanctity and purity of the temple.

Now, I feel I was wrong. How can a woman's entry into any place make it impure? As an educated, unbiased human, isn't this the right thing? Leave aside what Islam allows or Christianity allows. This is not a matter of faith. This is a matter of bias. Chauvinism. Sexism. 

Women were not allowed to cover their breasts, are still not allowed to lit the funeral pyre, talk about sexual assault - where does this end?

I believe most rituals in Hinduism had some scientific base to it. 

Centuries ago, when the travel to the temple was through forests filled with wild animals, a menstruating woman only meant trouble. The smell of blood would naturally attract the beasts. Also the journey to the temple was both tedious and took days to complete. This is amongst the most sane reasons I've come across so far, for keeping women away.

As a woman of faith, even now, I stay away from temples for those '7 days'. I don't know why I still follow it. I simply do.

I wish I had guts, like my mother. Who says it's high time we relook at all rituals and malpractices from an unbiased, empathetic, humane, lawful and intelligent manner. I wish I could have the courage to sit with her happily and without fear, when she's squinting at the planner to book our tickets to visit Lord Ayappa.

497

He promised he'd leave the world behind -
But said don't come in, when she knocked his door that night.

She said he was her destination.
But made time for many short vacations.

He whispered he loved her.
While hugging her, with no one in sight.

She cried, if he'd leave her, she'd die
As he left, she turned to his friend, 'be mine!'

Lust, he said. She said, it's love divine.
Now with her gone, to get her out of his mind, he strived.

He claimed her as his -
But gave all her calls to meet, a miss.

She tucked him in and kissed his cheek, tight
He reveled, not knowing it was going to be the last time.

He called her his beautiful queen,
Little did she know, in his kingdom, many more crowns reigned.

Her

It reminded her of herself ~
the sea.
Its turmoils, its peace.
How the waves rushed to claim what was theirs
But at the shores, just crashed instead -
As if in an after thought
Or simply giving up in distraught!
Only to recoil and reconcile -
To gain more strength, for another try.

The sea was crazy -
Some days calm,
some days upbeat.
Sometimes embracing those
who came in respite,
Guarding their secrets
in her profound mind.
Yet at times betraying men
and claiming their lives.

It was shades of herself she saw,
When she looked into the sea -
Turbid, yet clear
Poignant, with cheer.
Emotions, a myriad
Saw, those who sought.
It never dawned on these
When a mirror
they look into, deep
It was their reflections
they'd see -
And not her indeed.

She sat by the blue waves
Who beat their heads in disgrace.
She smiled at their misery
Which was, but momentary.
As they kissed her feet
Before their hasty retreat.
Deadly, yet fending
Dark, yet forgiving
She loved the sea,
for it was she.

Dreamland

She loved her dreams. 
Where she was herself ~
With no pretenses. No praises.
No biases. No prejudice. 

She longed for dark confines,
and waited for long nights. 
Walked cheerfully into solitudes
and her fictitious reality, to hide.

She knew she strayed 

in her fairy-tales. 

But she chose to stay

and keep it that way.

She kept her head high,
Her gaze straight and wide-eyed 

It was her fantasy world

with no gavels, juries, or lies.

The line seemed blurred 

Between myth and true times. 

But she knew it distinct

as the real world made her cry. 

She rubbed her teary eyes

And shut them close and tight

Her dreamland was now her life

And there was no coming back!

Dawn

Come to me once -

When I am in my grave

Having craved and craved

For you to touch me

Heal my heart -

Cradle my face

To tell me that you loved me too,

And longed to hold me, close.

Until a while longer -

This song shall go on.

I will wait, until dawn ~

Until then, I will hold on.

Spare me now,

Don’t care for me now.

Come to me, then -

When I’m dead and gone.

Friend

Does the sun make you shine and rains make you smile?
You can be my friend, do come by sometime!

Love to watch the blue waves, gloomily crash by?
Then why wait, rush! Come, sit by my side!

Does music, melancholy, bring a tear to your eye?
Then, come let's weep, let's sing, let's cry!

Does the climb look steep, would you rather not go high?
Come, hold my hand, let me help you fly!

Do you want to give up, and halt this tiring ride?
Don't stop yet, let's give this one more try!

Does the burden overwhelm, would you rather just hide?
Let me help you unload and rest it for a while.

Does the world seem lonely, would you rather die?
Let me take you to a fairyland with green pastures and blue skies.

Or are you just a happy soul, looking to heal my kind?
Welcome to my home. My doors are open wide!

Flower

I hate it that I'm a flower.
A flower —
Which blossoms, with your gaze
as you hold me close.
Or withers away in haste
when you pay no heed.

I hate it that I'm a flower
which blooms or dooms
at your pace.

I wish I could be more like you —
A bee,
which simply steals
and stealthily keeps moving
from one to another in glee,
with no memory
of flowers like me.