For you my Friend!

Dedicated to Shalomie Xavier, my friend for life!

Not related through a chord

You are a friend, nothing more!

Yet became a part of me,

Like a seldom gift from the Lord.

When I was, to pieces torn

When I cried hard, from my core

More than kin, more than foes

You stayed with me through high and low!

I don't remember how I came.

How I'd go, I wouldn't know.

Yet, for the many more births to go,

I want you with me - through and fro!

Why me?

When my mom swallowed that pill,
Knowing the harm. Knowing it will kill.
I never asked you Lord, I never once did -
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

Even when he kicked her, and left me feeling numb.
That night when he hit her, just for fun.
That dawn in the labor room, as they waited for me to come.
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When misery and hatred added more spice -
To an already poverty and sorrow filled life.
Even amidst arguments and never ending strives,
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When I came first every grade,
Yet was kept out of school every day,
For our fees hadn't been paid.
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When friends ran home, after a long day
When I lingered in the corridor, hoping to stay away
Praying that back home, everything should be okay
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When every night we were awaken, hearing mom's scream
When a peaceful house always seemed a distant dream
When violence prevailed, some days extreme
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When we confined life to two small rooms
When laughter gave way to faces filled with gloom
When hunger and pride - took turns to loom
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When our good friends turned foes
When our relatives chose to keep low
When suddenly we had nowhere to go
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When as children we were asked to abide
And be silent viewers at our dad's funeral pyre
When tears stayed in, no mater how hard we tried
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When my graduation dreams were fulfilled,
Thanks to the acres of land sold at mom's will
When all our gold was gone, and we sought refuge in gild.
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When my sister found love and got engaged,
When my brother grew tall, and handsome by the day,
When my first job offer came in, happy and gay
When life bloomed again and smiles filled our day.

When I turn back today, living life at my pace
When I hear out people, whose sorrows I cant erase
I remember those days when misfortune chased.
To realize I am at loss for words at your never ending grace.

I am thankful that you chose me. I am lucky that you did.
For if you had spared me then and kept me in bliss
It would take me another life, to know what I missed.
For today's smiles are born from yesteryear's amiss.

How you wouldn't!

You wouldn't hear -

The songs,
That I sing alone, by my window sill
And keep singing, I will.


You wouldn't wipe -

The tears,
That have been shed
And sleepless nights that still await ahead.


You wouldn't know -

The moments,
I count through days and nights
Waiting for the hour that will bring my knight.


You wouldn't feel -

The love,
That keeps me alive, the desire
Within myself, like a burning fire.


You wouldn't smell -

The flowers,
I grew with care, in our garden
To decorate your path as you near abode.


You wouldn't ever see -

The day,
I'd choose to be free
When I'd let it be, let you go and be me!

Excerpts from my Diary - 28th July 1999

I had the habit of writing my diary until 2 years ago. The other day I was reading through a few of them. It was a wonderful feeling. Like reliving those days again - the happiness, the agony, the anxiousness, the love and the laughter!

I felt I should share a few of them here once in a while. (It also helps me post something, when I cant come up with anything better). So here we go...


28.07.1999 (Wednesday)
Sebastian Sir caught me sleeping during his English class today.
I broke my 3-fold umbrella. Have borrowed mom's for the time being.
I have missed one day's Physics lab experiment due to my fever and lag behind the rest of the class. Even otherwise Ashok Sir is upset with me, after Sandhya and I bunked his session to take part in the KSU rally at college.
Totally bad scene.

(My Pre Degree days at Payyannur College.)

Another poem of pain!

I still miss you
I'm happy that I do.
For amongst those I knew,
I know that I truly loved you.

I still have memories, fond.
Sweet dreams too - every dawn.
In reality there is no bond,
Yet those days taunt and haunt.

I wish I could meet you,
For brief moments - very few.
Is it very late today?
Then even tomorrow will do.

Will you make it if I call?
May I invite? Or will you act tall?
I know things have changed, yet -
I hope you wouldn't find fault.

A moment of happiness - that I saw you for true.
A memory of a man, I knew for a week - will do.
Could you spare that time? Maybe an hour or two?
That'll keep me happy - for life otherwise seems blue.

Will your brown eyes flash the way they did?
Will you speak with the charm you hid?
Will you smile in your trademark wit?
When you see me, will your face get lit?

Can we hold hands?
Or can we just stand?
May I smell your cologne?
May I take a snap?

Can I know your number?
Can we still talk?
Or have I sinned beyond limits?
Or have years built walls?

I will slip away as I came.
I will not cry, nor will I blame.
I am just a soul - a helpless dame,
Who, without you, feels so lame.

T for....

"Parthaya Prathibhodhithaam Bhagawathaam Narayanena Swayam
Vyaasena Grathithaam Puraana Muninaam Madhye Mahabharatham!

In the midst of the Mahabharatha war, Lord Krishna advised a perplexed Arjuna. This advice took the form of the Bhagawad Gita.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
G for Gorgeous
E for Elegant
E for Energetic
T for Talented
H for Happy
A for Amicable

That's me - Geetha, all the way from Palkad for you!"

It was the Women's Hostel Cultural fest. And I was a contestant for the 'Hostel Beauty Queen' competition.

And I was rehearsing my introductory line (Read punch line).

Seetha and Chubi watched on, as I did. The hostel had 3 floors and we were grouped into teams - floor wise. We stayed in the 3rd floor. And I was the only one competing from our floor.

I knew if I had to win the contest, I had to depend on my gift of gab, than on vital statistics. Moreover the girl who competed against us was our common enemy. Someone who was tall and considered beautiful, who studied well and was the pet of the staffs as well. That made things worse. Because, all those were areas where, we lost out.

The first round of the Beauty contest started at 7 pm. The hall was packed with girls. Waiting to hoot, laugh and mock.

And there I stood, draped in a Kerala Set Saree with my Mushroom cut hair style and loads of makeup (that was a visual I bet many still remember).

Our enemy's name was announced. And she graced the stage with such perfection - calculated steps, trained moves and perfect smile. Applause followed.

My name was announced.

I stepped on and I thought I heard someone hoot. Good that I chose not to wear my glasses. At least my short-sight blurred my vision and I dint have to see the expressions on the faces glaring at me from in front, waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

"Parthaya Prathibhodhithaam .................. Mahabharatham!
(Phew! that went off well)

In the midst............... Bhagawad Gita.
(I completed that too correctly)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
G for Gorgeous
E for Elegant
E for Energetic
T for ????

Err....

T for ????"

I forgot!

God! This is embarrassing.

I was looking for Seetha and Chubi to help. And thanks to my short-sight I couldn't sort them from the hundreds of smiles I heard.

"T for ????"

Every feeble attempt was captured by the mike and blared across the hall, thanks to the speakers. Our enemy stood there enjoying the whole episode. Giggles kept spreading.

I was breaking my head trying to come up with an adjective with T. Now, what was that.

Terrify?

Terrible?

Terrific!
(Phew! Something is better than nothing!)

"T for Terrific
H for......."

How I managed to fumble the rest of the introduction is still a mystery. Thanks to my savior angel.

By the time I was done, the whole hall erupted into a laughter.

And I became famous instantly.

It is over 4 years now since that night. Yet, Seetha and Chubi still tease me with 'T for....".

(That I managed to reach the final 5 from the 25 contestants and stood a good chance of winning, had the competition not been called off due to strike, is another story).

I miss those days!

I really do!

Good Samaritan

This is a hilarious yet sad story.

Happened this February, when Sunny and Taruna had come visiting from Amritsar. And I had taken them to the beach.

Before I go into the story, let me introduce the main characters.

Character 1: Me. (You know me, obviosuly!)

Character 2: Sunny alias Ashish. Sunny, is like a younger brother to me. We met through Orkut about 3 years ago, and instantly hit off. He always came to me when he was happiest or while at his lowest self. I wonder how my words of inspiration often helped him out (because when I am depressed, none of my self-motivation techniques help!).

Character 3: Taruna. Sunny's newly wedded wife. That made me her 'Bhabi'.

Character 4: I still dont know his name! I haven't seen his face. Except for his hair, shirt and shoes.

Now to continue the story...

Sunny and Taruna, were visiting us, in Chennai. It was their first visit ever to South India. Sunny was from Amritsar and Taruna from Delhi. That should explain their love for the sea.

So there we stood at the Marina beach in Chennai at 9 pm, watching the Bay of Bengal. Sunny and Taruna had never been to a beach before.They had only read about the sea from school. They ran into the water. Their exciement was justified.

I sat at a distance, watching the young couple play in the water. Hoping they knew swimming. (You dont need the sea to learn that!)

"Didi..."

It was a scream.

I ran wondering who was drowning and whom to pull out. Both of them stood there frozen.

"Kya hua?" (What happened?), I asked.

"Didi, paani mein aadmi..." (A man in the water), that was Sunny.

"Kya?" (What?), me again.

"Didi, paani mein aadmi..." , he repeated.

"Kahan?" (Where?)

"Wahan dekho, paani mein aadmi... woh kya kar raha hain?" (Look there. A man in the water. What is he doing?)

I was searching for some fisherman fishing away. Nothing was visible in the dark. I wondered if it was a ghost.

That's when Sunny pointed into the water a few feet away and showed me something floating.

"Lagtha hain kuch doll hain..." I was trying to console myself saying it was a doll.

"Nahi Didi. Shirt pehna hain. Sar pe baal hain. Dekho dekho, shoes bhi hain!" (No! He has a shirt on him. There is hair on his head. He is also wearing a shoe)

I dint know what to say.

"Woh paani mein thair raha hain kya? Lekin mukh tho paaani mein hain..." (Is he trying to swim, with his face in the water?) Sunny kept on talking.

A tide swept over and the body floated along with it.

That's when I froze. It was a dead boy. Or rather the deadbody of a boy. And it was floating towards us.

I pulled them both out of the water and asked them to stay together. Then I ran to get help.

Two gentlemen (a foreigner and an Indian), dressed like business men where engrossed in a deep conversation, when I barged in. They seemed angry.

"Sir, there's a deadbody floating in the water, quite close... We need to get help..."

"So, why you telling us. Please go and inform the police."

Hmmm... Not worth a fight. Better try someone else.

Balloon vendors!

May not be educated and well dressed. But have heard that such people have a heart.

"Anna, anga thanniyil oru ponam. Vanthu paarunga! Please!" (There's a deadbody in the water there. Please come and help!)

"Madam. Tension aagathingey! Ukkarunga... Thanni kudeengey..." (Madam, relax. Sit down. Have some water.)

Such diplomats! Impressed. Now to get to the crux of the issue.

"Anna... antha ponam..." (What about the deadbody?)

"Daily ethana ponam paakarom. Thanni adichu mabulla vanthu sethuduvaanga. Ithu ingey sahajam. Neengey tension aagaathingey!" (We are used to this everyday. Someone or the other gets drowned, often inebriated. You dont get worried about all this...)

"But Sir, athu poi edukkanom, illa?" (But we need to get the body out...!)

"Aiyo. Namma thoda mudiyaathu. Police thaan varanum..." (No, we cant do that. That is the cops' affair)

So much for diplomacy.

Now, where do I find a policeman?

Meanwhile, Sunny and Taruna were on the beach trying to guard the deadbody, or rather walking along with it, as it floated. What a romantic way to spend one's honeymoon!

I thought I saw a Khaki on the road. It was quite a distance from the road to the beach. I was gasping for breath as I had to run to cover the stretch.

I forgot my Tamil and started screaming in English.

"Sir, there's a deadbody in the water and you really need to help. We have to pull it out...."

"Madam, Tamil theriyuma?" (Do you know Tamil?)

"Yes Sir. I mean, theriyum. (Yes Sir, I do.)

"Ok.... Ippo sollunga..." (Ok, tell me now.)

I repeated the story again.

His first question startled me.

"Madam, body water'le irukka illa land'ile irukka?" (Is the body in the water or on land?)

"Sir, its in the water!"

"Oh! Then, sorry Madam. Not my department."

"Whaaaaat?"

"Madam, body ippo thanniyilley thaaney? Athu karaykku vantha namma paathukalaam" (As the body is still in the sea, I cant help it. Let it come to the shore. Will do something!)

"Sir, athu ponam Sir! Athu thaana nadantha varum? Namma poi pudicha thaan varum!" (Sir, will a deadbody walk up to the shore? We have to go get it...)

"No Madam. Not my department."

Crazy people. I lost it.

My heart leapt out to the guy who floated in the sea.

A boy...

Without a name.

Without a face.

Half immerged in water.

Waiting to be pulled out.

Or to be washed ashore.

I wept silent prayers for his family, who were either asleep or were wide awake waiting for him to get home safe.

I called Sunny and Taruna and hired an auto and headed home.

So much for trying to be a good samaritan. I failed miserably.

May God forgive me and may his soul rest in peace.