Solace

Your words soothe my hurting soul

Like no prayer or psalm has, ever before

If only I could return that experience of joy -

To let you know what you mean to me, my boy!

When life beckons!

Another few lines to Prabhakar, now my friend. Inspired yet again by his poem

http://mindfulperceptron.blogspot.com/2011/06/living-on-my-own.html

Life moved on, even when you died

Leaving me nothing, but sore eyes to cry

Today, though agonies have followed me in line,

I pledge upon you not to take time to whine!

My duty calls me to save, to secure and set free

Hopeless, helpless frames, trodden from misery -

I will share my wisdom to brighten their morrow

And for their smiles, I vow to give up my sorrows!

Existence through Survival

On my window sill, perched is a winged being

Unhappy to be sharing space with another form of life

Perplexed as I am, at what my next move might be -

Like it, I do not know what it is like to be bereft of being.

They say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -

So I behold, and obscurity I see

Chaos and rivalry makes me cringe in my space

Hiding from circles – invitingly tainted.

Yet beauty I had seen amidst the chaotic life

Life – a symphony orchestrated at his free will

Though some notes were beyond my taste

I try to nod along, as if imbibing its grace.

My palms capture the monsoon after the blazing summer

Dark skies are torn open by the mighty thunders

It mellows down, pouring in as cold welcome showers

For halting hectic lives, it also makes some scream.

The earthy fragrance which follows induces in me – sleep

And paves its way smoothly within my tired frame – deep

I see myself relax, though my silence loudens

Embracing my soul it blocks out even seldom words that peep.

My life, a duet, maybe composed by time

But sung by me – and I hadn’t followed the rhymes

I tweaked a few tones, I’ve upset the hymn

Wrongly pitched a few notes - maybe missed a few lines!

A silent sigh somehow escapes my pursed lips

As the hurt which instilled it, eats into my will

Though I know I had tried to face it like a man -

I had never run away nor brought about any harm.

I hold no account for the countless days, bygone

Nor try to justify reckless moments, the past has now worn.

I know I have had my razing revenges – few

But I also know I have stood up for all my deeds, lewd.

I have created many bonds for my kids to take along

And broken a few too, for which into pillows I have sobbed

I may not have lived life, the way it was meant to be –

But I know I have lived it true, so now I recede!

Wordles (doodles in words!)

I missed the Independence Day celebrations in 1947 by 35 years.

But I do go thru the exact same emotions the freedom fighters must have felt...

.

.

.

every week, Fridays at 5 (to be precise).

Saddening. Maddening. Silence.

Dedicating this poem to a man, I haven't met. But would like to some day.

Do read his poem here to know why:

http://mindfulperceptron.blogspot.com/2011/05/two-glances-speak-but-silence-remains.html

Two loving souls were bound by fate

Now one remains, he is destined to wait

The other rests in peace, away from her mate

Yet he awaits her return, counting minutes, hours and dates!

Memories, they say, are the hardest to erase

Some take to drinking, some choose other ways

Here is a soul who has penned down in phrase

Words that bleed emotions, yet never cease to amaze

My dear friend, to you am a stranger

But I wish I'd know you, to offer you some relief

In a world that has no time for anything that breathes

I'm moved to see you, hold on to your wife's wreath

You teach me that true love lasts a lifetime

Its not bound by age, nor sticks to a chime

You truly are a lover, one of a kind

Every girl would love to have you by their side

I pray your pain is eased with time, as you write

And that you are freed from all bonds that keep you tied

I hope you'd find love again, maybe less divine

And the gods keep you together to explore the world, long and wide!

By the rainy beach

Watching the salty waves

Crash against the golden beach

As lightning lit up the sky

And droplets splash in the breeze

Sitting hand in hand with my man

I hum old forgotten lyrics

The world might deem it bizarre

But I call this bliss.

Fleeting fancies

I hear you are getting married

I don't know what emotions it yield

I am numb when I think of you

Or is it sadness that I feel?

I'm reminded of the times together

Whether good or bad, I can't gather

I remember I was told that we had no future

But why exactly, I yet do not know...

Your sister compared me to a slut

With whom no man could have a future

For what erroneous sin of mine,

That mystery, I am yet to unveil!

To your family - we were not compatible

Or was it more to do with the dowry and sorts?

Compatible indeed, in monetary terms perhaps?

But did you not fall for me, to pursue more than worldly dreams?

Your reasons too, were beyond my reasoning

And your tears at times seemed forced to me

You said I was a fairy, placed high on a pedestal

Who could be worshiped but to the world could not be revealed.

You soon let go, marking the end of 'we'

A year gently passed and it was an ordeal

Yet I thought when I move out, you would feel

That we were the best, that was and could ever be!

And that with time life would bring you back to me

I wonder why I had cringed at being set free

Longing to be with someone, who'd never stand up for me.

And a year was gone before your call woke me from my dream

You said you had missed hearing my sweet, lovely voice -

And remembered clearly that I had a sexy toned body

Gently reminding me that our love was dead and gone -

You told you did think of me, though you were over me long ago!

Numbed by tears, I heard you ask me to fall in love again

And claimed that my man would be the luckiest of them all

And assured he would be dead, if a tear to my eyes he brought -

For as a 'friend' you would guard me against all odd!

Convincing that you too longed to see me again

Promising me to meet up the next time you'd come

Leaving me, like the previous year, completely shunned

You hung up, leaving no more strength in me to summon!

-------------------------------------------------------

Now, I'm frankly done

I have cried enough without cursing you

Lied to myself, trying to cheer all

And held myself steady, in spite of all that dreary!

And one day you walk into my house

With my man, as an uninvited guest

With caution I welcome, trying to be courteous

For I know your ways, your ease at getting flirtatious.

You claim you are visiting, you have come for a wedding

I wonder why after years, you do not choose to go home

To your ailing father, nor to your aging mom

Nor to console a sister, over whom you had cried tonnes!

Or to your beloved fiancee - who was yours

Even when you'd called to tell me I was hot!

To that pretty face which had been waiting for your arrival

And will be betrothed to you, within a month!

Your ways have always left me awestruck

And yet I have tried to treat you with respect

But now, you have left in me no more emotions -

Than to despise a name that was stuck to me by birth!