Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Sid

I'm sorry

I failed you my friend

I'm only human

And at that, a frail one.


You placed me high

On a pedestal in the skies

Assuming I was godly - 

But I slipped and fell.


All that you didn't want me

I'm sorry, I turned out to be 

If there is a next time 

I promise, harder I'll try.

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Smile

It was in 1998. I was in my 10th Std. Mommy had moved back to Kerala, having resigned her job as a Nurse in Kuwait a few years ago.

We had come down to the last bit of money at home. We had sold the 2 plots and 1 house she had. All our gold was pledged at the bank. It was not easy putting 3 kids through school / college without any income.

I came home from school and the postman had just left. There was a letter. From the Embassy of Kuwait. We knew it was an update on our claim for compensation - we had lost a lot of our savings when we fled Kuwait as refugees in the 1990's when Iraq under Saddam Hussein attacked and looted Kuwait.

We had heard about other friends and families having received lakhs in compensation. And though our claim was a pittance, it would really help us survive. We were in dire need. The shop keeper had stopped our supplies, as the outstanding had climbed to over Rs. 3,000. Our school fee was pending for some time now. We had stopped milk and tea. Bread was the only luxury. Apart from rice.

The 3 of us gathered around our Mother, as she opened the envelop, with much hope.

And she smiled.

We were elated! Our claim was approved. We are finally debt-free. We could settle the shopkeeper's loan. We could buy some new clothes. I could pay my fee. We could have ice-cream! One of us plucked the letter from her hand, eager to see how much the amount was.

But what we read made us teary-eyed.
Our claim had been rejected.

We didn't understand. Our mother had opened the letter and smiled. She didn't break down. Or cry. That meant this was supposed to be happy news! We dint understand. We sobbed asking her how could she smile?

And she said, if this money were to come, I would have fed 3 children. But now, that it hasn't,

Iraq can feed a hundred ones!

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Fade away

Fade away
Like melting snow.
Slowly, but surely -
No one will know
Here a moment
Gone the next
Fade away, girl
Just go, just go!

Sunday, June 14, 2020

One

I am the land
I am the seas
I am its breeze
And I am my dreams.

I search for no shore
Nor the promised haven
I live amidst chaos
And it defines me.

I like this journey
Which keeps me afloat
Some days I live
Some days, it kills me.

My tears have formed seas
The land, from my debris
When it's my time to go,
I'll join them, in peace.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Monster

You hit her -
And we screamed

From beneath blankets
Muffled - our shrieks.

Did you ever realise
It was not just four lives

That you chose to break
But our generations to be?

I still shudder at noises
I shiver at nights, heavily.

I freeze when yelled at
And tears just stream.

It's over ten years now
You are dead and gone

But you hit her still -
In my dreams.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

Mask


It's good that we have
our masks  on now -
It's not as though we spoke
to anyone around,
Smiled or cared about
others in town.

It's good that we have
our masks  on now -
Earlier, it wasn't seen -
Now, it's just
so pronounced.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Ends and Beginnings

When I come to you
You run like the plague
When I turn away
You seek me, you chase.

I'm not in it anymore
This cat and mouse race
This has become a game for you,
And I don't want to play.

I hope you heal from what cut you
I pray I do too
Let's not hurt each other more now
And hope no one does too.

Goodbyes we bid in plenty
Let's keep it real this time.
If we ever again pass-by
Let's just keep it to a Hi.