I was awake the whole of last night. And, this time it was neither the notorious 'Chennai heat' nor the mosquitoes, that kept me awake.
It was something else.
Something which has troubled me in the past too.
It was a question.
A question which, may have been what eventually, led many souls to go in search of the 'ultimate' truth.
A question which, may have been what finally, led them to the so called 'enlightenment' as well.
The question was,
"Where does one go after one dies?"
Now, would I too go in search of the answer to the question that troubled me?
For, I did not have it in me to give up on the worldly pleasures and go in search of God (Isn't he/she/it supposed to be the synonym for "The Ultimate Truth"?).
Though it was a very disturbing question, indeed.
And I am sure you must have thought about it too.
It is very easy to answer that
- those who have done good would head straight to heaven
- the others would end up with the Satan in hell (in worse cases, in his huge boiling oil tub).
But isn't that what we choose to believe? Have you in person, ever met anyone who actually ended up there - either up or down?
Now, we could look at it this from a different perspective. Say, have you ever cared to think of what would happen if the world came to an end?
A sudden abrupt 'The End' (like the one you see after a Tom & Jerry cartoon).
Imagine the following scenario:
A Tsunami tide,
a blazing meteoroid
and an erupting volcano
...make friends with
a deadly earthquake.
A drought soon joins in.
All 5 friends come to visit the earth one fine day.
What would happen to all the 6,894,000,000 people (which is the total number of people occupying the earth as on today, Wikipedia tells me) then?
What would mankind do? (Other than die, perhaps?)
Would heaven or hell have the space to accommodate all these 6.894 Bn people (or spirits or souls or whatever)?
Will 6.894 Bn 'whatever' float around in space? Or will they still loom on earth?
Brings back the question "Where will we go when we die?"
In simple language and as per my reasoning I can only say, "I don't know. I may join the ultimate power perhaps, some call 'God', others 'Nature' and a few more 'Universe' !".
Now even if I end up there --> somewhere.
Will I still have my identity there somewhere as I do now?
Will I realize / recognize where I am?
Will it hurt? Will I remember?
Will I still breathe and eat and feel, the way I do?
Will I still be able to emote? (Don't know how successful I am at that even now!)
Will I still long for mommy's lap?
Will I still love the man I fought for, over a bunch of idiotic girls?
Will I still hate my ex-lovers for what we did / did not do?
Will I still want to buy that expensive shoes or the latest phone?
Will any of that matter anymore?
Everyone wants to know where they are headed in life.
I know a few who don't, yet they head ahead. Only to hope to find that final lodging, praying they remain happy with whatever they'd end up in.
That friends, is part of life.
What about afterlife? It may be a stupid thought.
But, I trust me, now I feel things I did earlier were stupider. Like for example:
- Fight for that extra piece of chicken at KFC (even though I din't know where I had sent that chicken to, after its valiant death)
- Give up on loved ones just because they did not agree to my philosophies in life (Chances are I will meet them soon and tell them that, when the 'question' appeared, my tiff with them seemed so trifle)
- Write this blog post (Little did I know that people would ask me if I were drunk while writing this).
The point I am trying to make here is:
Friends, we do not know where we came from (as a result of fertilization, from between a woman's leg etc are not answers).
We do not know where we are headed to either (the best answer I can come up with is the graveyard).
I am talking about the 'Metaphysics' bit of this whole thing (by the way, 'Metaphysics' is again incomprehensible to my mind). But whatever, it is a fancy term to use!
Again, the point here is: I want to change.
I want to take a conscious decision to love and care. (Despite being born human, I will still try.)
For I don't really know where I am headed.
So, I might as well make the ride a worthy one!