Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy (?) New Year!

A journey of 10 years!
Just dashed in a flash -
But stay happy, tonight
For its the new year night!
Dead people and dreams -
The Pope, Super Man and Steve!
Careers, cars and movies -
BPOs, Ford 500 and Avatar's Navis!

A decade moves on -
All changed. Can't redeem.
But you be merry -
For its the new year, dearie!

Seen couples getting wed -
Arun Nayar and Liz Hurley!
Seen plenty of blood shed
Not them, but Iraq, Iran and the Afghani!

But don't you worry!
We will have days of glory
The past is dead -
For its the new year, ahead!

Heard mighty men scream
Osama v/s George B!
And seen teary eyes gleam
14th Dec'06 at WTC!

We may have lost men
But don't we have many more left?
Come, rejoice with no fear,
For its a new year, so no tears!

Seen many deaths -
Thousands went with the Tsunami!
Seen many more births -
Are we still behind the Chinese?

We will move ahead
For in God, we believe
The future is clear -
For its a new year, dear!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm abode.

I yearned for years - long

For a humble man, I could call mine.

For that warmth across the table, as I sat down to dine.

For that naughty stare at me, as I'd undress shy.

For that amusing smile, as I blabbered when high!

For a chin with rough stubbles, that would caress my lips.

For ever lending ears - to take in my never ending cribs.

For a name around my finger, etched in gold.

For that grip around me, as I'd turn old.

I'd waited long enough, I could abide no more!

And that's when you walked by, as if you heard me cry!

And offered me a hanky, to wipe my tears dry.

Your tired eyes claimed, that you had come a long way.

I offered to leave, but you said you were here to stay!

You said you were no novice, and you did look worldly-wise

Though your boyish charms, did raise in me - alarms!

I sat there beside you, sharing stories of a life - wooed.

A tale of a short girl, yet it took a mighty long while!

You have been listening for long, yet you probe me to go on.

And I still babble away and I still babble away...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Love is but a crazy thing.

It is astounding how -
We grow apart.
Today madly in love,
Morrow, a torn heart!

The passion is soon gone
Now with differences - profound,
The bond is dead
And morales are down.

Life is a trap -
Where love is a game,
With players insane!
Is it worth all that pain?

How people mourn!
Curse the moment they were born
Dialogues filled with scorn
Soon, those days are too gone!

Only man can wound
While making choices in love
Weigh and disgrace -
The life, to which they may get bound!

Love comes to those
Who'd wait - I've heard!
Though absurd, may I say?
It did come to me, again!

As I am all game,
For another round to play
I can only pray -
That this time, it stays!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A note of thanks!

Though tears don't well up, the way they did.
My breath doesn't stop nor heartbeats skip,
My cheeks don't blush, my gait doesn't trip,
But you as a thought, is yet to be nipped.

For it was you who taught me how to breathe -
And you who showed me, how a man could cry -
How to love even when deprived
How to let go, yet long all the while.

In the midst of agonies along my plight
You gave me a reason to soulfully smile.
Though I was just a toy, you yearned for a day
A fantasy you sought - in your words, a fay!

Until one day and to my utter dismay
Leaving me broken, you chose to walk away.
Though it left me torn and I kept counting days -
You'd never be back and had no reason to stay!

I missed you still, in my own ways
I missed it, when I heard your name
I missed your wink, I missed your style
I missed the way I'd felt you're mine.

A year was long, and I recovered
I never knew then, that you would return -
To check if I was well, to warn me not to stray!
To assure me that, I'd learn to love again!

I am happy now, for when you came back -
You brought along with you the light, I had lacked
You helped put back what you had whacked!
You gave me my guy and I'm thankful for that!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A night to remember!

I bolted the door
And stepped in, shy
You blocked my way -
With your signature smile.

I was scared, I was anxious
For this would be a long night.
Though the room was dimly lit
My blush stood out bright.

I felt my body tremor,
In my ears when you murmured -
"May this love for my wife
Stay as intense, till I die!"

You pulled me close and held me for a while
Then stooped low, to kiss me in style.
And with each peck I quivered,
Like a candle in the wind - flickered.

The sound of my breathe
Grew on, as you conquered depths...
The warmth of your sweat
Spread slowly, over my breasts...

And the girl in me, was forever lost -
To your manly grip, on me - soft.
I felt like a woman, though unclad
In love with my guy - like crazy, like mad.

When I woke up later, though all smitten -
Some from stubbles, some were bitten.
To a dawn, turned crimson red -
Painted like the passion, from our never-ending lust!

You were still there beside me
Kissing my forehead.
Singing to my soul,
As you caressed a dark mole.

And I slept again, in your arms,
A sleep - assuring and calm!
Dreaming of days filled with love,
And nights - with moments divine!

Hoping to awaken again -
To my man's broad frame and smile.
Stay with me - true, and take me with you
To that dreamland again. To that dreamland again!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Why?

Girls are like that -
Day one: They are all soft and witty,
As the day ends, they are all dry and gritty!

Boys are like that –
When they have coffee, they’d want tea.
And when they have her, they’d want me!

We are like that -
We praise God, when he heeds to our needs
And dump him down the drain, on questioning our deeds.

Life’s like that –
You say you love cats and can’t stop sneezing at their sight.
You boast of the latest gadgets, yet can never get them right!

Love is like that –
Looks all rosy at first, but grows on to be a deep, dull grey
For one never knows when the chase to be owned, turns one into the hunted prey!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

My Man!

As I reach my hand over your pillow,
And pull away the blankets, to hold you close.
When I wake to the alarm and not to wet kisses -
That’s when I know I miss you most!

Your bright sunny smile and childish charms,
Your naughty eyes as you pull me by,
Your manly scent and grip on my hips -
I dream on, as the daylight spreads!
I miss your singing - while you are at your chores
I long for the aroma from your coffee – sour
I wait for you to walk in, through that door -
And I realize when you’re gone, I love your more!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

All is fine!

I haven’t ever made promises, to leave them half-broken.
I haven’t taken pleasure in possessions, which were stolen.
I have never deserted the hearts, which I had once taken.
I have never gone to bed with a mind, sinned and shaken!

No matter how hard envy, fury or voracity had poken,
I never gave in, for my conscience was always woken.
I can always stand without guilt – no matter when I am awakened.
I may have been called a rebel, but that was cos I was outspoken.

I hadn’t yielded like many, to the alluring worldly temptations.
Though I often longed for love, and slept with teary eyes - all swollen.
Until one day you came along, like God’s endowed creation.
I began to love selflessly again, though I admit with much caution.

I know it has raised eyebrows, sulky faces and contortions!
This too will pass, with you by my side, to keep me patient.
Everything will be fine as long as our prayers come with devotion
For in God, I take faith and have offered our love as his token!

Shades of blue.

I am sorry if I don’t blend -
For I have seen factions of men
Divided - by virtue of what they can eat.
For I have also seen groups of girls
Separated over colour – dark, fair or wheat.

I am sorry if I sound aloof -
For I have seen days
Which brought no sun.
And I have been with people
Who instilled harm with all their pun.

I am sorry if I am glum -
If I seldom fall in tune
With your every twist and twirl.
Or if I never offer to tune up
To your every whim and fancy.

I am sorry if am ugly –
For I have had men call me pretty
And walk with me with pride.
For I have seen my men
Walk away with women, prettier than I.

I am not sorry that you found me – True!
For how you walked in
I have no clue!
I’d want you to know that my days with you,
Are no longer painted with shades of blue!

Bawlings of a bawd.

The past still breathes.
Heaves heavily. Relentlessly.

Death looms before me.
Like a whore, awaiting to caress a man.

I have seen fairer men.
And stronger warriors, in the bygone days.

Yet, my lucky charm.
Your memories - cold, still keep me warm.

Your child in one arm, I still hold close.
And with the other, I stretch for alms.

The melting tar below my feet,
Burns me in the scorching heat.

My days are counted.
As my nights were tainted.

I have sold my body.
But not my soul.

For with that,
I still wait for you...

As the August Autumn leaves -
Dew drops wait on faded yellow leaves.

A day will come when I will fall -
And over my body as vultures, brawl

That day, return -
If for me, you were ever concerned!

Hold me once and hold me close.
For I love you still, though you had left me torn.

Kiss my lips. Kiss my brow.
Hold our child, if you'd want to stroll.

Leave me behind, for predators to feed.
For I will never complain. And you needn't heed.

The day you return, I will know I had led -
A life worthy enough, though we hadn''t wed.

To the world, I may be another fallen girl
But I will know, to you, I was the mother of pearls.

Monday, November 15, 2010

To the needy!

To the needy -

A smile - that can charm
A thought - that is warm
A gesture - that can calm,
Is even holier than the psalm!

Monday, October 25, 2010

In Love with Life!

I love you...
For how you make me smile, when I least expect...
When you make me tear up, saying things no one ever has...
When you hold me tight, and make me feel all yours...
When you kiss me, and make me feel safe...
When you smile, and lit up my life...
When you gaze, and make me shy...
When you sing, as if I were the only one...
When the brat in you makes me feel, you are my child...
When the man in you, makes me blush...
When the boy in you, flirts...
You are the thought - that lets me sleep,
And the thought I wake up to...
I love you...
With all my heart,
And I love you...
With all I have!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Global day of giving!

"The abandoned are still smiling,
Why can't you?"

I read this beautiful phrase on an online poster a long time ago. A poster which showed a bunch of desolate kids smiling at the camera.

I was touched when I saw it first. And the phrase stuck on.

Two days ago, we were taken to Shelter, an orphanage for HIV positive kids, located somewhere close to Ambattur, Chennai. It was a part of the 'Global Day of Giving', our CSR initiative.

I really didn't want to go. I had 2 deadlines to catch for the day and taking 4 hours from work was out of question.

But everyone else seemed excited about going. I went down to wave at the parting colleagues. And before I knew, I was sitting inside one of the cars, waving back at the office.

It was a long drive. I didn't know what to expect. I imagined skinny children, with sunken eyes, gloomy faces and torn clothes, welcome us. I shuddered. Maybe I shouldn't have followed my intuition. Can we go back, please?

I was sitting in the back of the car, alone. The gifts for the kids were neatly packed in the office's brown envelops and kept beside me. Gifts - pencils and sketch pens. They never counted as gifts to me, as a kid. Gifts meant new dresses, shoes, toys and jewellery. Pencils, rubbers and sharpeners were handed to us anyways, no matter how many we lost. They were necessary stuff, not gifts. And moreover, gift wraps were done with shiny colourful sheets. Not in brown envelops.

It took us slightly over an hour to reach Shelter. It is run by one Mr. Solomon, who works part time at 2 places to manage to find the funds to support his 'children' as he calls them. He greeted us and welcomed us warmly.

It was a small house. It was painted a dull yellow paint. But the room was beaming bright. Smiles from the 25 kids, aged from 2 to 12, brightened even the dull paint on the walls. They seemed happy.

No, they were really happy.

Solomon gave us a brief introduction about the place, the children and the malady they faced. Children who dint know who brought them into the world, who dint know what their progenitors had handed over to them, who dint know how long they would survive. Yet they were so cheerful.

We got to know their names and where they studied. We played games and told stories.

Two little girls who sat next to me were keen to know more about my 'French manicure' and complimented me on the 'beautiful ring' I was wearing. When I stretched and yawned and said 'Daddy', one of them said "Remember both your parents. Dont just say Daddy. Say Mummy too!" I dint know what to say. They wanted to know why half of my hair looked straight while the other half looked curly. Now, how do I explain 're-bonded hair' to them!

When we handed over the gifts to them, they flocked around with the vibrancy and innocence only children could offer. They were not bothered about the 'brown envelop'. Nor did they sulk asking "Colour pencils? Thats it?" Before we knew, most of them were already competing drawing cars and houses.

I wondered what kept those kids happy? How could they smile so open-heartedly!

They dint have a 'comfortable house' to go back to at the end of a long day at school.
They dint have a 'sari palu' that wiped the sweat off their foreheads as soon as they got home, nor a hand that would pat them to sleep.
Morning showers meant long queues, each day. There were no 'I first, I last!'
They helped each other with home works.
At an age where 'ghosts thrived in the darkness', they knew to survive lonely nights.
They played quietly in the ground floor so as to not disturb the little one who was critical and awaiting her time, in the floor above.
Their prayers would eventually go unanswered, but that dint stop them from praying.

What did they have in life, that still made them smile?

All they had was Solomon.

And Solomon is all they needed.

Not us, who were visitors. Who would forget all about them before we even closed the car doors and headed back to office.

These children had learnt to share and give, more than to have and receive.

This time, the 'Global day of giving' was more a 'Global day of receiving' for me.


(P.S: Those who'd like to help, please contact shelterindia05@yahoo.co.in )

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Feelings! :D

'I Love You!' is too simple a way -

It doesn't convey half of what I'd want to say.

In real, I'm crazy about you, in my own ways,

I wish to be lost in your embrace - whole night, whole day!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

For You!

You didn't knock,
You didn't call,
You just barged in
And made me fall...

Madly in love with you!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

To seldom visitors.

Why am I so vulnerable
When it comes to love?
Why is it that they ask to 'let go'?
Is it so that, one can ask for more?

I ask you Lord,
I ask you now -
Why me, of all?
When I had just again, began to crawl!

Don't push me further down -
For you know this cliff is tall...
Don't wait there with stones to haul -
For from here, very steep seems the fall!

When people called me cute,
To him I used to be queen!
Now, when people say I am bright
He says, I am his little sunshine!

I am no queen.
I am no sunshine.
I am a normal girl -
At times, a soul that whines!

If you are here to visit,
Please don't offer to stay.
For I tend to believe.
For I tend to wait.

Don't promise me a life,
And walk away with mine.
I may not come after you,
I may not stalk your way.

I will go away -
And stay hidden always.
To you I may appear stone-hearted
Mean, dead or someone who's gone astray.

But here I will await,
Longing for what was mine.
Hoping for you to return -
At least to return what you had once entwined.

I will face newer days
I will face longer dawns...
Spring will be here soon
The winter seems long.

Don't offer me your home
Just to keep me warm
For even your shoulders
Can bring in calm, for now.

Don't give me your palm,
I may hold on.
For you have no clue,
How much I am drawn!

I let go all that was mine...
Not so that I can get more
I let go all that was mine...
So that I can live on!

I have no love left in me now.
Hatred too? I really doubt
If not for these seldom tear drops
I'd say, I've learned what life is all about!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Why I miss you!

I miss you cos,
You make me feel special.

I miss you cos,
You make me feel am normal.

I miss you cos,
You listen to all my blabbering.

I miss you cos,
You never stop talking.

I miss you cos,
You never judge me.

I miss you cos,
I trust you.

I miss you cos,
You make me feel that all good things on earth, start with me.

I miss you cos,
I realize that all good things on earth... came from You!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Someone.

I want someone who'd stand with me -
The day I lose my degree,
The day I lose my teen.

I want someone who'd hold me close -
Despite the skills, I've always lacked,
Despite the dark days, I have treaded past.

I want someone who'd love me true!
Not for my charm, nor the curves,
Not for my cleavage, nor the verve.

I want someone who'd wish me luck -
Even if it would take me away,
Even if my return delayed.

I want someone who'd kiss me to sleep -
Who would, for me, stay awake
Who would never, to me, be fake.

I want someone who'd wipe my sweat -
Before asking for the money I'd kept,
Before reminding me of unpaid debts.

I want someone who'd see my soul right through -
Who had loved me before I was born,
Who would love me when I'm gone.

I have found that soul, that someone in you!
I find the solace you offer, a boon!
I'd be blessed to be born again, in your womb!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A prayer.

Lucky are those who can die for love - true!
I would, like to lay down my life, for you.
For no amount of money, no amount of joy
Seems to take away my tears, when I am lonely, my boy!

I may sound insane, crazier by the day,
But I'm a well-wisher, so don't run away!
If you had loved me once, kindly remember to pray -
To God, to keep your thoughts outta my mind and way...!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

ABR

Dedicated to Aswin Rao. A wonderful person I met, chatted and became great friends with, over the span of a weekend :)

I have been smiling all day through...
Each hour feels special, each moment new.
Looking back at life, I know such days were few,
I’m happy I came across such a wonderful man – you!

You care for me like you were always there!
You stand guard, as if no one better dare!
It leaves me wondering if life had been fair -
Keeping us away, not knowing where we were.

Am grateful to that moment which made us friends.
I treasure for life, each instant we spend.
Wherever I’d go wrong, you should step in and mend,
I’d hope against hope that this bond never ends!

I write this so you know, I’m true and intense.
I mean it when I say, ‘Dear, be my defense…’
Whenever I’m lonely I’d come to you, to vent.
For you are a blessing, heaven carved out and sent!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Actor.

Don't be carried away by my smile,
I was shedding tears until some while.
I carry myself with some grace and style,
I rarely hear the music, yet you'll find me jive!

I was no born actor, but knowing I am mortal,
Not waiting for rewards, nor longing for laurels,
As a girl, a sister, a lover, a daughter -
I played along tough roles, whatever life offered.

A day will come. when I can redeem
Whatever I'd wished for, whatever I'd dreamed
For that day I wait, will wait, whatever it means.
To smile from my soul, leaving behind whatever had been.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

365 Days.

This is my 70th blog post.

Today I complete a year at blogging. It feels so less, yet it feels like so much!

A year is not long, considering it takes only a few moments to change believes, change people and change lives!

If I have been able to touch any of your lives with some trivia I wrote, I'm obliged.

I am thankful -

To the many who have shown the patience to read my posts, think over them and leave comments too! I have to thank each one of you - Yuva, Guru, Sid, Dudo, Thirurkadan, Shalomie, Ragazoo, Rakesh Menon, Shwetha, Siljith, Daya, Sooriya, Kuruppal, Athira, Jinu John, Readers Dias, Shobana, Sorcerer, Jasdeep, Matrix, Hakuna Matata, Cris Hand, Pratap, Anand Appa, Satheesh Kumar, Harikrishnan, Cheerzz, Ajay, Davesh Shingari, I am what I am, Sakthivel, Dreamy man walking, Rahul Nair, Paro, Hitesh Rawat, Rajan Rambles, Dileep, Traveller, Jiku, Sandip, Teena, Bin, Natrajmani & Tourism world.
To the 37 people who dint think twice before they clicked on the 'Follow' button.
To the 1290 others who visited so far.
To Indiblogger for rank 69.

To
Raju, for 'The Ages'.
To Blogspot, for being reason why 'The Ages' was not confined to my diary pages.
To Shalom, for being my friend.
To Chechi, for her phone calls and for offering to copy-check and edit errors.
To Unniettan, for the silent support.
To Mom, for loving me from the core and making me believe that Love is, in fact, blind!
To Life, for unfolding a new experience, a new learning each day.
I love life. I love you all!
Be with me.
Always.
Amen.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Cacoethes.

The winds whisper in my ears
As rain drops wipe away my tears
This beautiful night, I feel no fear
As I stay awake, thinking of you dear!

You have taken away the pain
And any reason for me to cry again.
I will not crib any more in vain
I will live life, without disdain.

We will be together - for long and true
And smile through phases - both bright and blue
Have fights at times, but very few
Yet never say sorry! Nor bid adieu.

As wrinkles grow on and leave me worried
You'd remind me of our days of glory.
We will blush as we unfold treasured memories
Which we will pass on as our cherished stories.

I wouldn't know what tomorrow has in store
But I pray I'd always love you more!
For you always rank first in my wishes galore
And know, I always leave ajar my door.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Helping the Helpless.

Today afternoon I was walking home for lunch.

That’s when I saw a crow with blood on its beak fly past me and sit on the window of an apartment above.
Soon, one more crow flew past.
As I wondered what was happening, I saw the source of its food. A calf lay injured on the road side. There was a gaping wound on its hind leg. A car must have hit it because it had bruises all over its leg. Crows were scavenging on its open wound. And it was too weak to move and had almost passed out in the pain.
I ran towards the calf to scare off the crows. But they were very adamant. The vendor on the road found this very amusing and was smiling at my pathetic efforts to ‘shoo’ away the predators.
I went around asking who ever came my way if they knew who the calf belonged to. Someone finally pointed out to a narrow street and said it belonged to the lady in the green building. I walked fast and knocked on the door, not wanting to waste another moment, for the wound was getting bigger as the number of crows kept increasing.
"Who is it?” , the lady seemed very angry. Maybe I disturbed her sleep.
“There is a calf in the next street. Is it yours?”
“No, why?”
“Well, its hind leg..."
“Is it hurt?"
“Yes..."
“Are crows scavenging on it?"
“Yes!"
“Ok. You go ahead. I will take care."
I felt like I had been slapped. Either the calf was hers. Or it was not. But she knew that it was hurt and in pain. And she was not bothered. I wished I had the guts to scream at her. I walked back to the calf. Only to scare away another bloody crow.

The calf was very tired and in pain. It looked at me with teary eyes. (Or I felt so). I called my mom for help. Our building was five minutes away. She said she will be there soon. Meanwhile, I stood on patting the calf trying to assure him that I'd be of some help. House flies were feasting on the wound.
Curious people started gathering and looked on. But their curiosity died the moment they learnt it was just a ‘calf’. However, no one offered to help.
Mom came with the first aid kid. True to a nurse!
Water.
Hydrogen peroxide.
Dettol.
Oinment.
Cotton.

She cleaned the wound and nursed it. Meanwhile I kept patting the calf trying to keep it calm. Someone alerted a boy to inform the owners that ‘someone’ was trying to do ‘something’ with their calf.
Meanwhile, the house flies watched on. The crows watched on. So did the people.
We came home hoping the calf would get well soon. I was full of anger and despair.
- At its owners for letting out such helpless souls on the streets, with no food or water. They fed on garbage and other waste from the roads. They were never cared for.
- At the person who hit the calf and dint bother to stop over and help it.
- At the people who just watched on. Who were of no help and yet laughed at others who tried to help.
- At me. For being a non-vegetarian.
I managed to finish my lunch and ran down the street to check on the calf.
It was already on its legs. Trying to walk. He was a fighter. And his quest for life was great.
(Or maybe he knew that if he dint walk soon, he would be on his way to the butchers'.)