Sunday, November 29, 2009

You are my Vanilla!

"You are like a Chocobar!", he said when they met the second time. "The more I know you, the more I like your sweetness, your tastes!".

She wondered why he always spoke of anything, comparing it with ice creams. Later, when she knew about his craze for ice creams, she understood.

She preferred to talk to him inside an ice cream parlor, so that she could relish with her lover, his love. Eventually, that became their meeting point.

Once he said, "Oh! my dear Vanilla, you enter my soul like a coolness I never felt before. I guess I have started liking you more than ice creams!"

She couldn't sleep that night. She imagined their house, made of chocolate and walls made of cream. In her dream, she floated with him like pieces of dry fruit in a fruit salad.

One day he told her, "You know what? Women - They are like cone ice creams. As a whole they appear soft and creamy, but deep inside, they are hard like biscuits!"

She asked him why he said so and he complained that she did not care for him. She had never visited his house, even though he had invited her during each of their meetings.

So, one day she went fully attired like a specially dressed cup ice cream, much to his surprise. He said, "Like ice creams, women too should not be kept waiting, or else they melt away!"

And they enjoyed themselves.

They hadn't met for weeks, when she finally called him up. He said he had been away and promised to meet her at their favorite place. Though late, he showed up for his date. While talking over their butterscotch he said, "
Butterscotch is quite tasty, but we get fed up soon. I have never been able to complete one cup in my whole life."

And he didn't, this time too.

Soon, they parted. She tried to figure out what went wrong. She soon understood that her tastes were wrong. His entire flavor was wrong. As she sat crying over her spilled milk ice cream at the parlor, she saw him walk in with another girl.

His next ice cream!
Trivia: This story was written sometime in 2001, and it won me a College first prize in English story writing!! :D

You were never there...

31st Aug 2002

Couldn't cry
As I made my first move
My eyes were dry
As my mom had cried!

Could only laugh
When tears came and blocked
Life was tough
Yet "we" pulled and towed!

Could only fake a smile
When he stabbed "us" in our hearts
Could only love him more
The farther he seemed to go!

Could never know us, fair
But, you were never there
Alas! Then when you came
"We" weren't there to bear!

Haven't you got enough tears?

11th August 2002

Slowly awaken,
Fast asleep
An apprentice at feelings
A virgin at love.

Lively but lonely
Friendly yet fragile!
My heart pounds to music,
Yet stays calm and wild!

They tagged it "Sentimental"
He called it "Most bright"
God marked it "A wild flower,
Fallen from the sky!"

To the reddish mountains,
And the muddy drops,
My life - disdained
Yet it seems to glow!

Amidst the bright darkness,
Of this lonely night,
I pen this to highlight
The flights of my fights!

How my life looks vain!
My birth - a disgrace,
I was born a queen,
Yet, slavery I face!

A burden to my shoulders,
A load to my sons,
A grief to my siblings,
A fun for everyone!

An antique - cheap in nature
A painting - known by none
A sculpture - made of sores
At the hands of asylums!

My vision isn't blurred,
Its the world that has flunked.
Yet, they call me "Funny"
And I call them "Junk!"

My Mom

Somewhere in 2002

Who loved -
Not to fulfill,
But to fullness!

Who hated -
Only hatred!

Who went -
Without waiting to be invited!

Who responded -
Without being called!

Who loved -
Without being loved!

Who figured out -
That perhaps,
Love is God!

Myself?

22nd January 2002

Why do I stand,
When the world retreats?

Why do I fall,
When the world is at peace?

Why do I pray
To the deaf and debris?

Why do I choose
From a one-sided dice?

Why do I make
When all others break?

Why do I cry
When, with all might I've tried!

Why do I hate
When all are my mates?

Why do I love
When all are my foes?

Why do I buy
When all are mine?

Why do I sing
When no joy it brings?

Why do I write
When nothing is left bright?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

*Conditions Apply

Music - Soft and slow.
My mind - It's free to flow.
Melody - Soothing and calm.
Singing - My sorrows are embalmed!
Sacrifice - The only way to let go.
Sorrow - Is with me through and fro.
Solitude - A blessing in disguise?
Passion - May come before demise?
Love - In your eyes I see...
Weddings bells - Now, part of debris.
Peace - Will be*
Happiness - I'll see*
Tears - Will stop*
Cry - I will not*
Fake - Were emotions.
God - I pray with caution!
Helpless - In my path I feel.
Pain - Is all I get in deal!
Misery - Will have to fail*
Faith - I will keep nailed*
Hope - Has been torn.
Smiles - Will but be born!*
Beauty - Is in you.
Friends - Are truely few.
Hugs - Are they free?
Baby - Can I be?
Innocence - Will it return?
Dew drops - On a heart which burnt...
Ring - My naked finger!
Music - Makes me linger!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Divine Dreams

While young and naive,
I had dreams to achieve,
A childhood to leave,
And no time to grieve!

Time did a favor -With age I got braver.
Couldn't wait and crave,
With a youth, so depraved!
I no longer cover,
Nor pretend to glower.
When showered by a lover,
Kisses are devoured!

Bundles of notions,
Twirls of emotion,
Hugs of devotion,
Like the warmth of the ocean!

Moments of pleasure,
Fragments to treasure,
Sweat which felt fresher,
I love with no measure!

Now, with no hopes
Skin that's gone taupe,
In solitude I grope,
Even death has eloped!
My face, now turned ashen
My soul, with the demon
My life, wrongly driven
My past stays - unforgiven!

Tears flow in streams...
I wake from that dream,
As odd it may seem,
My sore eyes still gleam!

The bright sun still shines,
Everything looks fine.
Life is so divine...
I thank god, its mine!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A love that's mine!

Will I find a love that's mine,
That'll be with me, through time and tide?

A smile that'll assure you are safe, its me!
A hand that'll hold, yet set me free!

A glance that'll shine, as my shadow saunters
An embrace that'll hold me in a lasting fonder!

A praise, even when make-up fades on my face
A kiss, even when my eyes swell in disgrace!

A chest so wide, for me to gander
A mind so full of me, to ponder!

When will I find the love of my life?
That'll be with me,
And be mine...
And be mine!!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I shall hold you undeterred.

My fears trickle down as tears,
Yet I crave for your kisses on my ears.

My anger overcomes my sorrows,
Yet I hope I can hold you tomorrow.

My heart still pounds hard when you are mentioned
And my love for you, grows exponential!

You are gone. I feel torn.
The dead don't return. My soul feels burnt.

All in vain. All down the drain.
The world has moved on. And I refuse to live on.

I refuse to accept. I refuse to release.
Death is not a reason. Death is just a treason.

By your grave, I will cry
Tears of sorrow, to make you abide.

You will live, You will return!
For in my heart, I shall hold you undeterred.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Turning point

Every new day brings a new meaning, teaches a new lesson, shows a new dimension, presents a new threshold - of happiness, sorrow, solitude, contentment. But sometimes, our days also start with a frown, or a frivolous fight and then takes the most unexpected twist!

I woke up that morning angry, awakened by a call. It was not the call that angered me. But having to talk to someone the moment I wake up is something that ticks me off badly.

As I walked into the kitchen, my mom warned my siblings, "Sookshicho, innu idathotta" (Roughly translated as 'Someone seems to have woken up towards her left. So, beware!') According to Hindu superstition, there's a belief that one who wakes up from the bed by turning to his/her left, will face a bad day.

I chose to ignore that comment.

After all, the damage had been done. I sat sulking with my tea, reading the newspapers and going through my daily horoscope. Wonder whats in stock?

"Life will take a turn. You will meet an important person"

Hmmm.... now that seemed interesting. Maybe someone did respond to my curriculum vitae, uploaded on the numerous job portals. Better get dressed formally to office. What if I have to rush for an interview call. I need to look presentable after all!

But, wait!

Someone important huh?? A prospective boss can be important. But could that also mean a prospective groom??? Now, who am I to blame? The same, curriculum vitae was tweaked to appear like a matrimonial ad and hosted on all marriage portals online! Then, a formal wear wont do! I need something casual, something sexy, something... attractive!

Hmmm... now I am stuck! I need a formal wear which is sexy. I need a casual wear which is presentable! Why do women have so many attires to choose from?? For the first time in life, I preferred to have had only 2 options like all men.

A plain shirt with matching trousers.
A stripped shirt with matching trousers.

Alas!

But then, a Sari should do.

Yeah!

Sexy, formal, casual, presentable, modern, trendy --> all in one!

So, there I stood at my office doorstep, draped in a sari on that rainy day. I was late. It dint matter. My life was going to change. I was optimistic.

I longed for the mobile to ring. (Yes, the same mobile I almost threw away that morning, for having woken me up)

10.30 am. No calls yet. Its too early. My boss (prospective) / guy (would-be), must have just begun his day. Let him take his time. I can wait.

12.00 noon. Hmmm... he must be busy with lunch. Its alright. Let him take his time.

2.00 pm. The NFS Carbon ring tone blasted across the hall. I had set my ring volume to 6 on my phone. After all I dint want to miss this important call!

"Ms. Geetha Raj?"

A male voice. I gasped.

"Yes, yes!"

"Is this the right time to talk?"

"Yes, yes!"
(What's your name???)

"Well, this was regarding..."

"Go on please..."
(Work? / Wedding?)

"Mam, are you there?"

"Yes, yes!"
(Did I just hear 'Mam?' Seems well-mannered!)

"This was regarding the payment of your credit card dues. You have lapsed last month's payment."

"A...h...! Y...e...s, I k...n...o...w!"
(F*** You! What a time to call.)

"Well, I am Mr.ABC. (His name no longer seemed relevant). I am waiting at your reception to meet you on this regard."

"Oh! Lovely! I'm coming down in a split."
(The prospective boss had vanished by now. But who knows! Maybe my prince charming is a Recovery agent)

A tall, huge, hefty guy, with a declining hairline stood there.
(Why do all recovery agents look like Dons from a Hindi movie?)

He thrust forward a small yet huge bill.

A heart attack. That's what I felt.

Outstanding = xx,xxx.xx
Interest = x,xxx.xx
Late payment charges = x,xxx.xx
Misc charges = x,xxx.xx
-------------------------------------
Total = More than I can ever pay!
-------------------------------------

Jesus! So much of entries for a single payment lapsed???

I tore a cheque for the amount he thrust into my hand.

Yes.

He was an important person.

Yes.

This was a turning point in my life.

No more credit cards!!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Percussion of thoughts…

8th Jan, 2008

Percussion of thoughts…
Foundations ruined!
Foundations formed!

Demise of values…
Morals found!
Morals lost!

Array of rights…
What’s sought?
What’s got?

Accusations flaunted -
Baseless, thoughtless.

Emotions displayed -
Fake, forged, fictitious.

A world,
Where ambiguity reigns
Like Kings in a dream.

Where love comes to those
Who yearn for debris.

Where lust becomes dharma
And destruction becomes karma.

Where do I stand?
If I kill, I may succeed.

And return to being a baby
Smiling and sleeping to lullabies.

I will find happiness, without you!

When I gaze, I see you...
When I dream, I feel you...
When I breathe, I smell you...
When I run, I follow you...
When I stop, I gasp with you...
When I fall, I hold you...
When I walk, I lean on you...
When I leave, I cry with you...

My prince...
He slept like an angel...
He laughed like a dream...
He craved like a child...
He loved like forever....

How I wish, I could live with you...
How I curse fate, I had to leave you...
How I pray, for your happiness...
And how I hope...
I will find happiness...
Without you!