Forgive Me

Forgive me mother
But I wanted to learn
I didn’t know the ways
Of a ruthless world.

You wanted me to stay

To do the dishes today

I promised to be back soon

And that I wouldn't stray.

I kept after little baba

As we walked the muddy roads

He is a tad younger

But a man (we follow the codes).

The school was far off

But that didn’t keep me away

New year was approaching

I had to practice for a play.

The day started with history

My favorite of the lot

An era dead, bygone

Came alive in that slot.

Stories of mighty rulers

And benevolent kings

Transport me to a heaven

And suddenly the bell rings.

I promise, dear mother,

It was not my fault

Someone just barged in

Unaware we were caught.

No face to the intruder

No name I can recall

Not that identity matters

When on sinning you're sold.

A red splash of hot blood

Drenched my crisp uniform

Surprisingly it was not painful

Though my whole body was torn.

I promise mother, I didn’t cry

I kept thinking of your beautiful smile.

I fell face first on to the floor

The face-less was firing all this while.

Tabassum moaned.

Laila was dead.

Shazia's face was

a bleeding mess.

I lay as I fell,

Floating in and out of dreams

The kings have come,

to probably take me.

I'm sorry Mother,

For the undone dishes

For not staying back,

For the unfulfilled wishes.

I've lost my life

Fallen prey to the Taliban

Should I have stayed at home?

Subservient to a man?